I focus on the pain- the only thing that's real.
The needle tears a hole, try to kill it all away
Try to kill it all away, but I remember everything
I wear this crown of thorns, upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts, that I cannont repair
Beneath the stains of time, the feelings disappear
You are someone else, I am still right here
What have I become, my sweetest friend?
Everyone I know goes away in the end
And you could have it all, my empire of dirt
I will let you down, I will make you hurt
If I could start again, a million miles away
I would keep myself, I would find a way.
I had a conversation I never wanted to have this afternoon.
The fact that it was with one of the last people I give a fuck about makes it a million times worse. Don't make me feel guilty about being here. Don't tell me how depressed you are, and how much you want out. Don't tell me about fighting and drinking and the two of them 'ignoring' how you feel. I know how they feel too, they CARE. They know how you feel, it's really hard to hide. I would know, I'm the one who tried to hide the worst gut wrenching soul sucking suicidal depressed feelings during high school. And what did you do? You drug me off to see a shrink. So do it for yourself. But do not tell me how bad it is and how much you want out. Because all I do is take it out on myself because I should be there. I should be there to make you happy. And I can't be. I'm in capable of making anyone else happy. I'm a failure, and maybe I should go all freakin' Donnie Darko on the world and take back the past few years, and erase everything and replace it all with something better.
The fact that it was with one of the last people I give a fuck about makes it a million times worse. Don't make me feel guilty about being here. Don't tell me how depressed you are, and how much you want out. Don't tell me about fighting and drinking and the two of them 'ignoring' how you feel. I know how they feel too, they CARE. They know how you feel, it's really hard to hide. I would know, I'm the one who tried to hide the worst gut wrenching soul sucking suicidal depressed feelings during high school. And what did you do? You drug me off to see a shrink. So do it for yourself. But do not tell me how bad it is and how much you want out. Because all I do is take it out on myself because I should be there. I should be there to make you happy. And I can't be. I'm in capable of making anyone else happy. I'm a failure, and maybe I should go all freakin' Donnie Darko on the world and take back the past few years, and erase everything and replace it all with something better.
I'm so glad it's still cold out.
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