Of love and such.

"I love you; you're fucking perfect." So said the boy who swore he loves me.

I'm the dumb one for expecting him to wait while I tried to figure my life out.
I'm the dumb one for expecting him to understand that I need to know about Joe.
I'm the dumb one for expecting him to actually mean it.

And now I'm the dumb one for wanting to cry my eyes out over the fact that he's with someone else.

I'm the dumb one who was in love and told him to wait and expected him to.

The past is the past for a reason.
I just wanted to know what that reason is.
And I wanted to know if there's anyway to resurrect it.
But Joe never wants to talk. Or he won't. He says things and does thing but he won't commit to committing. I'm getting really weary of letting things pass me by, in hopes that someday he will.

I've had boyfriends who hit me.
I've had boyfriends who dated me just to sleep with me.
I've had boyfriends who dated me because they think I'm easy and they'd get some.
I've had boyfriends who dated me to use me as a trophy girlfriend.
I've had boyfriends who lie and cheat and lead lives that I know nothing about.

But I've never had one that has actually, really loved me.
I wonder what that would have been like.